Clomid Cycle #3 - Another Unsuccessful Cycle & Clomid Break

Hey Ladies!

It has been a pretty normal cycle again this time!

Somehow I honestly felt that I did catch that sneaky egg of mine this cycle, but again I'm sure, it's God's plan in all of this..

So today on 5th May 2018, I had my period while sleeping.. I felt like some fluids flows out and thought, OMG I'm peeing.. LOL!! But in the end it was those brownish stains with minimal clots.. Hmm.. I was pretty upset yet expected it.. I'm getting upset for being positive and it pretty hard on me mentally..

The night before, I was complaining to my Mountain Bear that my lower back aches.. Not intensely but mild.. And I was having these yellowish streaks of discharges but no foul smells from it.. I was hoping it was a good signs but guess not. With the boobs aching and acne breakouts, limb numbness and diarhhoea.. urghh.. classic signs for both pregnancy and periods..

So on the 15th April 2018, I manage to get a fertility massage from this company called "Warisan Massage & Postnatal Care" in Facebook and she came over to my place and the fertility massage or "sengkak" was carried out for 90mins. Also they have a shop which you can drop by strictly by appointments only.

She uses medicated oinment and also a hot stone which is used to compressed on my abdomen area after the fertility massage was carried out. it was a nice feeling but I do have aches after a few days.. Must be the muscles getting all cranked up.. lol! It was advice that the fertility massage should be carried out during the period before your ovulation day (CD14-15 normally). So I had it done few days after my period ended in April 2018. Ovulations was predicted 5 days later after the massage which was indeed..

It was an evening urine and you can clearly see how dark it gets!! And we BD the day and the day after. We tried to keep it short in the BD cycle as the 1st 2 cycle, we are pretty hard on the every other day BD since CD8 onwards till CD20.. But this cycle we just did on it CD13, CD15, CD17 & CD19.. Still.. even though its during the fertile period and with the opks reading, we still missed that darn egg! I don't know why!

But when on 14 DPO, i started to have these yellowish streaks of discharges which I don't usually get before a period. But still, I was trying not to be hopeful.. And i didn't regret it.. I wasn't so depressed when AF popped up last night. Was mentally prepared for another negative..

I was super happy that I decide to have this blog created.. I mean, I really wanna pour out my frustrations and sadness and anger without being judge by. I just wanted to let it all out and I'm sure not all people are going through the same journey as you are. In fact, you tend to get the wrong updates from people who have no idea what you are going through. 

So for the next cycle, I decide to skip Cycle #4 Clomid because Ramadhan is a few days away and I don't want to stress myself with all these baby making session and waste the valuable clomid effect on this month. I wanna focus on my fasting and to HIM. Surprisingly Mountain Bear has agreed on it and we will try to find other ways still to get this miracle to happen.. I mean, I still want to have a child with him but if God said, its not meant to be yet, it's not. We did all we could. Go through rough procedures and all.. But still, I really hope people don't judge those who don't have a child yet while well advanced into their marriage years. We are struggling and trying to be parents too.. We are not Gods and neither are you..

So Mountain Bear back in December 2017 was diagnosed high cholesterol levels with high ALT level of 70. Normal ALT is below >37. So my department Dr suggested that he should take Milk Thistle Supplement to help bring it down and maintain the liver function to its proper and normal channel. So after 4 months later, after taking in Milk thistle for a good 2 months, his cholesterol level was AMAZINGLY BACK TO NORMAL!!!

And his ALT level decrease to 51. I mean, what???? It's that effective?! I was super happy for Mountain Bear! And now since I'm on my CD1, I should start taking it too as also, I'm on Clomid Break for the month, no possible interactions. And yes, my cholesterol level increased too.. LOL! We are indeed FOOD LOVER and refuse to reject any good foods goes by without tasting.. But yes, Milk Thistle is a great liver detox.. Plus my sugar level are well maintained. On/off Metformin and Myo-inositol.. But still good!!

So yes, I am at work today and will be on break for the next 3 days.. I really hope these days, I can spent time with Mountain Bear, de-stressing for awhile.. 

I will still wait for that day where my pregnancy test has 2 red lines.. I still pray and hope that it's possible for us.. I really really really do...

Take care ladies! i will update soon with another blog in a few weeks..