Clomid Cycle #2: CD31 No Menses Yet

Hey ladies!!

Blessed Saturday & happy long weekend!!

We had a public holiday yesterday and I was suppose to have my off day today but I swap shift with my pinoy partner, allowing her to celebrate her Good Friday with her family on the weekend.. And she will help me with my festive celebration on the coming June.

So yes, let's talk about what the hell is wrong with my cycle this round..

Amazingly I was suppose to have my menses on CD28 and clearly after 3 days, she is still not seen plus I do not have any AF like cramps which I usually have 1 week prior to the bleeding.. Suprisingly this cycle, I don't really have much symptoms! Not even for AF..

So today i had some diarrhoea x 1 episode after eating some Thosai with coconut chutney.. Definitely a bowel booster.. Hehe..

So today is CD31 and 11dpo.. On 9dpo I did a pregnancy test and it was BFN (Big Fat Negative).. I know it was super early but damn my hands are itching to test on those new First Response Pregnancy Kit I had it mail from New Zealand! Heard so much good stuffs on it..

So yesterday on CD30,10dpo, we did the deed after a week of hectic schedules, and I realised that my discharge were clumpy wet? And after the deed, went to the bathroom and wipe it off, saw some pink stains on the tissue paper.. I was like "OMG?? AM I HAVING MY PERIOD???!!"... But basically that was it! Today there isn't any discharges.. So far for my boobs, it was slightly sore and easily erected upon rubbing against my bra.. I know right? Like I'm stuck in a cold enviromnent.. And saw some slight bumps on the areola and blue veins are still seen but not protruding..

(Photo: My Pink Discharge)

I realised I had a huge meal and still not feeling full.. mcm jinn plak.. but definitely Mountain bear was wondering too! And on 29th March, I requested from lil sis and mom to buy for me this Indian Rojak from uncle samy's stall and also his Sup Kambing kaki.. OMG!! IT WAS THE BEST TASTE EVER!!! I was literally craving for it for almost 2 week and finally had it in my mouth, that satisfaction feeling.. Only God knows how much I craved for that taste..
And the Sup Kambing Kaki.. Fuhhh.... YUMM!!!

Ok enough for the food! Now let's get back.. if my memories doesn't fail me, usually 1 week before my AF made her entrance, I usually will have extreme cramps and bad sore boobs and headache.. But for this cycle.. Nope.. I have none that mimic that symptoms..

I have a strong feeling that I've ovulated on CD20 with the OPKs darker than my control line, should ovulate on CD21 or CD22. If i were to assume that I ovulate CD20 i'm 11dpo today, if CD21 I'm 10dpo, and CD22 i willl be 9dpo... LOL!!

Oh well, I hope that it's just because of the late ovulation, I will have my menses late 5 days.. If so, i should be having my period by 2nd- 4th April 2018.

Anyway, I hope that you guys are still hanging and keep that strong faith that God will answer our prayers to have this amazing blessing!!

Sticky beans to all!!

Clomid Cycle #2: CD24 (24/3/2018)

Hi Ladies!!!

(My Lovely Cat! Emann at my friend's place now)

Oh my goshh... I have alot to talk about but didn't had the chance to use the computer to key it in!

Alright! So lets start with the first one!!!

Since CD14, I was hoping that my ovulation will occur or CD15-CD16 as mentioned by most ladies but then again I wasn't having any of those EWCM (Egg White Cervical Mucus) texture yet.. Still was dry and sticky down there.. Having extreme headaches and dizziness!

So I thought, hmm.. Maybe I might be ovulating late or no longer ovulating..

So jump to CD19, I started to realised that I am having some of EWCM discharges and thinking.. Maybe this is it? So got home and checkon the OPKs and it was still not as dark as i want it to be.. I was having low blood pressure of 99/62.. Very rare of me to have those readings.. In fact, never had that level before.. (below photo is CD19)

So CD20, went to work and realised im having some discharges coming out, to my surprise, it was stringy and stretchy exactly like an egg white texture when you play in between your fingers.. (can't upload the video of it) So decide to have my OPKs done and BOOM!!! Those gorgeous lines!! Those lines are darker than the control lines!! Eventually it gets darker post 10mins!

I was really really amazed! Am I really ovulating?? And manage to catch that sneaky egg this time? So Mountain Bear and I decide to have the deeds done for the next few days till today, which is CD24.. But on CD21, i started to have alot of discharges down there.. it looks lotiony and creamy discharges.. Which I never had it before.. And it drags for 2 days straight.. In my life, i never had such discharges even before my menses.. So i assume that the clomid has to do something with it.. Its like glob or blob kinda discharges..

And I can say that I am currently on 3DPO.. 3rd day post ovulation that is... So far, not much of a symptom.. I tried my best not to pinpoint the signs at all.. I wouldn't want to be heartbroken like last cycle..

Also, I was told to do my CD21 Progesterone level.. Which I forgotten to note that that test only applies to thsoe who are ovulating on CD14.. As for my case, I ovulated on CD20 and doing the test on CD21 is obviously not even accurate and sadly my test came in 3.6nmol/dl which is totally not even capturing the surge at all.. compared to last cycle which was 42.4nmol/dl, that is indeed a high surge of Progesterone.. So i should have took note on that! Now i'm having a thought on whether should I take the blood test on CD30 later on..
As mentioned, it took about 7 to 10 days after ovulation for the surge to be detected in blood test.. Urgh!! Another poking to be done!!!

So again, i decide to go ahead and buy the pregnancy test which was recommended by my fertility group member team in Australia, UK and US. Told me to get that First Response Pregnancy Test Kit.. And also bought some internet cheapies (10iu sensitivity) for the fun sake.. LOL!!

It was about $30+$4.90 shipping for 3 test for this First Response test kit that I got online.. With some discount I manage to get it for $28 nett.. Which is definitely a bargain! So i will try to have it test end of the month! I don't know what to expect.. I will try with the internet cheapies first.. And the sensitivity was pretty early.. So decide to test it and I was amazed.. I saw a 2nd extremely faint line on the test.. Well.. I assume that its faulty or evap line. So decide to ignore it.. LOL!!

So this cycle, pretty much we used Pre-Seed for all our deed session as to hopefully increase the life span of the lil spermies.. And also, I've started taking Vit B12 supplements today.. Manage to get it at a local pharmacy for $5.35 for 100 tabs. And started drinking concentrated milk for additional calcium! Somehow, I love drinking milk now!! So yummy!!

Oh well, currently at work.. And I've been pretty sleepy! So exhausted and just want to sleep! My skins are getting more dry and itchy! Urghh!! Thank God the smail mucus has arrived!! So today symptoms... Just cramps.. thirsty and not much of any discharges..
I suppose 3dpo wont show much symptoms.. as claimed, 6dpo-10dpo where the symptoms could appear if there is anything.. I will try my best to have it update and share with you ladies..

Well, that is for now.. Will definitely update more soon! And also, if there is no postive UPT, we will take a break next cycle from Clomid.. Just a 1 cycle gap break.. Insyallah! Mohon yang terbaik dariNya...

..An emotional conversation with my patient...

I know that this post has nothing to do with any related to fertility and the journey to get pregnant...

But I really wanna share this is because, it happened 1 hour ago..
Today, 14th March 2018, one patient spoken to me about her life..

I realised that her behaviour was different and she seems that she couldn't hide her depressing emotions with her smile anymore.. So I decide to speak to her and slowly she opened up..

She lost her husband 5 years ago when he had a cardiac arrest suddenly. He was her only family that she had in this country as she is only a permanent resident when he passed on. She faced alot especially with her housing ownership, trying to get her citizenship and also she was cheated $250,000 due to a scam from someone whom she trusted.

She did mentioned that she was really depressed that her management team decide to sent her to a psychiatric department which made her worst.. She say that, that year was the darkest year of her life.. She say, the loss of the husband wasn't the main reason for her depression.. It was the routinal or repetation of actions done between the both of them..

..When i got home, he will open the door and smile "Oh you are home!"...
..When we eat, we share one plate or brown packet together..
..When I want to go to work, he will prepare coffee for me and I will make food for him to bring to work...
..When I'm sick, he bring me go see doctor and care for me...

Now when i got home.. Nothing... I'm alone.. I feel there is no purpose to go on in life.. And I still feel why God punish me like this... I even order my own casket and prepare the medication given by the psychiatrist in case I cannot take it anymore, I will eat it all...

I know she was in need of help. And I told her, by doing so, isn't gonna do good for herself.. I can assure you that this issue was known by her department supervisor as she made those claims before to them which was the reason she was sent to see a psychiatrist.

Knowing that she was really cramped up in her mind, knowing that she couldn't move on smoothly with the loss of her dear husband, i decide to share with her my life story.. What I went through and how I turn out to be.. And her tears and sulking expression changed. She was so interested in my life struggle..

She was amazed that she cried.. Keep repeating to me that "God has given you and bless you with interest plus GST! He repay you with the good deeds you did in life.. " I laughed.. And I told her, "God gave you the same too.. But you didn't realised it.. He made you healthy, give you the chance to be a citizen here, give you strength to help others" She began to smile and she say it's hard to change but now she realised, "if you think what you are going through is worst, other people are suffering worst than me.. I must learn to be grateful.."

I told her to take it slow and such things doesn't take overnight to happen.. She has an issue of why must other treat others badly when they didn't do anything wrong to them..

And i advice her this, if this person has no importance in your life, why must you dwell into the darkness aura that he/she has given to you? He/she is not worth your tears, stresses and sadness.. let it go and let other people do that to them back, not you.. Release it from your chest and mind, for such person had no idea what you went through.. Rather than revenge, pity them for having such character and behaviour...

I know she was in need of much talk as working 12 hours and no communication could make anyone go crazy.. adding to the situation she's been through.. i told her, help is always around the corner and I'm here to listen and help you in any legal way i could.. I could see she smile and tears running down her cheeks and constantly thanking me for willing to listen to her life story and help her emotionally.. Mentioning "No one understands what I went through.. all of them ask me to forget it and move on but how could i?"

And i told her, "Such memories can never be forgotten, it's what you want it to be next.. Do you want to keep thinking on the sadness part or the great memories that you manage to share with the person you love dearly? And just because he is gone, you want to throw away all the happiness you share when he was still around? Share it with people who need it.. And knowing that the hardship you went through 5 years ago, the knowledge you gain from all the things you need to do from your citizenship to applying your house, that knowledge and experience you had, you can help someone one day.. if they went through the issue you had once in the past, you can share that knowledge you had.. you have a purpose in life.. Don't throw it away with your sadness.. I'm sure your husband wants you to do good and I'm sure he will definitely be depress as well seeing you like this after he was gone...

She stopped and pause for awhile... wiping her tears away and start smiling... a sincere smile she shared to me.. And the aura that she had an hour ago which was attached to her surroundings, it totally felt different.. She began to tell me that she will make full use of her remaining life...

I never came across a sincere person like her before.. And she thanked me with a good hand grip and a smile.. She made my day, and i hope I made her happy too...

Clomid Cycle #2: CD14 (14/3/2018)

Hey ladies!

So yes, we are currently in the second cycle of clomid on 50mg dosage from CD2-CD6.

So far I have been pretty much the same.. This time round, there isn't any obvious side effects from taking the clomid.. I'm not sure if I'm not symptom spotting or really, there's nothing to track.. LOL!!

So what difference have I done for this cycle now? March is my fav month!

1. Myo-Inositol (CD8 onwards 4 tabs daily)
2. L-Arginine (CD10 onwards 1 tab daily)
3. Folic Acid (Every cycle - Almost every day)
4. Pre-seed Lubricant (CD10 onwards)

So I tried to fast forward for today, which is CD14..

So few days ago my OPKs stated that I've had a positive Ovulation on CD10 (just like the previous cycle)
But after seeing post from ladies who also had taken clomid mentioned that they have a false surge with no ovulation on the early part of their cycle like CD9-CD10.. And they found out they truly ovulated on CD15-16! Which is consider the regular cycle day to ovulate!

So this cycle, after learning much from their experiences and knowledge that they shared, to also take note on your cervical mucus for those water/stretchy signs..

True enough, I was dry like Sahara last cycle on CD10.. LOL!!

So yesterday was CD13.. I'm still not seeing much cervical mucus. But we had these days covered just in case, that egg decide to turn up early without me noticing or even without any cervical mucus showing.. (I doubt so)

As for my digital OPKs, i decide to have it taken tomorrow CD15 which most ladies swear they have their smiley face showing on that day.. Not sure if i should take it with my FMU or evening urine.. Will research on that part.. i really hope to see that bloody face on the digital to indicate that i've indeed ovulated. (Will update in Red if its positive in this post)

Urghhh.... Yes!! This is like the most draggiest procedure ever!! LOL!! I'm honestly trying to not symptom spotting at all.. But i really need it to know if these signs are related to my ovulations.. Especially the cervical mucus.. But it can be mistaken by the semen mucus.. Like they say, if you have been doing it every other day, there is nothing to be worried about.. Especially for this cycle, i feel that preseed shall help to extend the sperm life span in the vagina's hostile environment. Give and take... about 3 days the least? We are indeed acidic which could slow them down or even worst, kill them.. LOL!!

Some Chinese Gender Calendar Predictions

I know, as a muslim myself, I don't really believe in these prediction stuffs at all as all that happens are by the grace of God Almighty.

But I was playing around with some youtube videos about pregnant ladies trying on these stuffs and coincidentally, happens to be true.. So what they did was, taking the mother age during conception and the month they conceived, and pooofff!! The result appears and almost all of them had it right, by some chances it turns out to be true.! So being a total skeptic on this, I decide to tried it for fun, IF indeed I might conceived this cycle on March (insyallah), what could the gender be.....

I was super emotional... I will be having a girl if indeed I was conceived this cycle.. And I was like.. Hmm.. let try next cycle... still a girl.... My heart totally changed.. I wanted to have a baby girl badly.. And I'm afraid that I might have those "Gender Disappointment" emotions going on if it's a boy.. LOL!! I don't know why.. Even Mountain Bear would prefer a girl.. And I would love to dress her up, teach her cookings and stuffs.. LOL!

But all i can do now is pray hard to Allah that I could get pregnant this cycle.. I honestly craved that feeling of being a mom.. Honestly trying to conceive for the past 1 year, isn't that long.. Some couples waiting 10-15 years to have their first born.. Although I've been married almost 4 years, Mountain Bear and I decide to go on for travelling period for the first 2 years with not preventing not trying (NPNT) sessions as well.. But since mid 2017, we have been having the sudden crave to have a child in our little humble life..

So yeah... Trying to stay positive on this and also knowing that rushing will not make difference as this needs to be taken 1 day at a time..

So for this cycle, i really hope and pray that it all goes well.. Hehehe!!

#excited #nervous #letittogod

Clomid Cycle #1 - End Up In Period...

....Yes ladies....

I had my menses exactly on CD28... Which was on 1st March 2018..

I was super upset... And I was symptom spotting that this sound promising and kept believing that I was pregnant this first clomid cycle..

Here's how it goes..

So earlier on in the week, I kept checking my UPT results and it seems clearly all negative..
And I though.. Hmm.. Maybe i might ovulated later than earlier as seen on the ovulation test.

So I was unsure if we did covered those days for the later part after cycle day 14.. (CD14) and if indeed i might have ovulated on CD17 onwards, definitely we will miss the egg..!!

My heart keep saying.. "Hmm.. Maybe I should call the Dr's office to have another cycle of clomid drugs on standby in case if i turn out to have my periods over the weekend and as we know, government hospital doesn't operates on weekends..

So I did, and was greeted by a Nurse name Rohana, whom I've explained to her that I've taken my CD21 Progesterone test and wish to have it faxed over for the Doctor to scan through and workout the next step..

So after I've hung up the call with her and faxed over the results, I realised I felt some gush of fluids down there.. I was like.. "Omg... Am I having that 'pregnancy' cervical mucus finally?" So I took some gauze and wipe....

There I saw......

I remembered trying to calm myself down and convinced myself by saying that's Implantation bleeding...

But when I realised it's getting more.. I just knew it... it's HER!!!!

That bloody witch has made her entrance this cycle!!!

So I told Mountain Bear the news, crying at work... LOL!!! Yes I was that emotional! Adnd the flow was like a new BTO pipeline.. Was patent as ever!

I was pretty shocked that I'm having a smooth flowing abdo-cramping menses cycle..

So got home, wash up, Mountain Bear was still awake when I got home, and he greeted me with a hug.. And also a pack of McDonald Burgers to cheer up.. LOL!!

So I told myself maybe this Cycle #2, I'm gonna try it differently... Maybe stretch more BD days and also definitely change in diet.. Urghhh.. Telling a food fanatics to slow down.. This is bad.. LOL!! Also some supplements like Fertilaid, Myo-Inositol along with my regular L-Arginine to support womb linings! So yes! And also, will include Mountain Bear to take in the Fertilaid for men & Zinc supplements during the conceiving period.. Insyallah.. If it's meant to be for us, our lil one will arrive soon.. Also, I should start temping myself.. Will start by tomorrow.. Urghhh damn.. Where is my Body Basal thermometer?! Actually, there isnt much difference with the usual thermometer.. Hehehe.. And also, i've ordered a new batch of Ovulation Prediction Kit.. Hoping this is it!! No more CD10-11 checking! Lol!! Just do it!!! LOL!!

So slept well and woke up the next day, preparing to go to work.. And i receive a call from the Doctor's Office, greeted by Nurse Rohana saying that the Doctor has prepared for me additional 3 cycles of Clomid drugs for standby and I have to take it today and start the first pill today! I was like... hooray? LoL!!! Also she mentioned that I've responded well with the clomid so I dont have to take my CD21 Progesterone level for this cycle. Hehehe!!

 So get dressed, get into my troubled Grab account and reached there with half hour to spare before work starts..

So I took the prescriptions from her and head over to the pharmacy where I bought some other stuffs like alcohol swabs, Preseed Lube and some blue sheet (because I predict I will bleed the bed tonight with this pipe flow)... So the Clomid x 15 tabs is $2.70 while the including the other items mark up the price to $44/-..Ain't cheap but anything to get a sticky lil bean in me, hey! It should be worth it!

So now, lets start all over again! For a better pregnancy journey!! End of March 2018.. I will be waiting impatiently.. LOL!!