25th April 2020 - CD15 - IVF ICSI #1 *EGG RETRIEVAL DAY*

Today is 27th April 2020 - 2 days post egg retrieval procedure..

I was really taking my time to recuperate and currently I am on 20 days Hospitalization Leave.

Will return back to my work on the 14th May 2020..

So let me trace back on the day of the procedure.. Let's start!

25th April 2020 - 9.10am
Mountain Bear need to provide the sperm specimen for the insemination. And we only have 1 hour to reach the IVF department. We took the car and drove off, reaching at 9.40am to the department. I was the last patient to go through for the procedure.

So Mountain bear need to proceed to another area to submit  his specimen personally while I was at the registration counter, attended by a Senior Registered Nurse Jacqueline. She is just lively! So she explained to me that I am still early & I proceed to the waiting area with Mountain Bear. Before that, I was given a wrist tag with my details stated. I was also given 6 sticky labels with my name & details printed on it. I was told to have this given to my surgeon later on, at the operating bed.

1040hrs - I was called in for the procedure. My heart is pounding, I looked at Mountain Bear, and told him.. "Bye my love" and he replied the same.. I was then escort to the changing room, was given a locker 9 to keep my stuffs in & was told to create a 4 digit password for the locker. I was given an operating gown with a pink kimono & shower cap. I was told to strip down & only allow to wear my socks & shoe.. Once that was done, I was seated in a comfy armchair and had my hypocount taken. It was 6.3mmol/L. I was attended by Registered Nurse Stephanie, she is awesome! She was there when I recover post surgery as well!!

So anyway, I knew my vein is hard to obtain or to even set an IV Plug. She suggested to have the anesthetist set the plug for me. There he come, Dr "Lion" sat in front of me and with 1 poke, he managed to get my vein! I was ready for the next step! I tried to stay calm.. I was worried to be under sedation.. I was afraid that I might not be able to be awake. My imagination run amok.. But then, I started to cool myself down, prayed to Allah to make it a smooth journey...

So the time has arrive, I was escorted by another OT Nurse, I couldn't recall her name but she is super friendly! I was scared when I saw the OT table.. As I was gently guided up to the table, having my buttock at the edge of the bed, with my legs placed on the leg holder, my dignity was well taken care of. I was well covered during the procedure.. Well, I'm not sure when I was knock out.. LOL!!

So finally, my surgeon arrives, she asked for my name label and my identification for verification. Before I was given the drug, Propofol, I was given an oxygen mask & everyone is busy prepping.. I say my shahada & pray to Allah  to make it a smooth journey for me.. Then I saw Dr Lion beside me, telling me that he will be injecting the propofol into my IV plug, and I saw the OT Nurse on the other side, looking at me and telling me it will be alright..

I remembered feeling a gush of warm thick solution running through my system, I started counting & staring at the OT Nurse...


1.......2..........3........4................5.....................6....................7.....................

That's all that I could remember....

I was woken up by a familiar voice, it was Stephanie, it was 11.50am... I was pushed out from the OT at 11.42am. Oh my goodness, that was the nicest sleep ever! LOL!!! I was told that the Dr had inserted a Paracetamol suppository after the surgery ended to help with the pain. It went well, they told me.. I was still drowsy and slept for another 10 minutes.. After that, I was wide awake.. Felt alil uneasiness at my abdominal area.. Felt some discharges coming out from my vagina. they mentioned it was normal.. I was then attended by another MO who did a quick check on my abdomen.. He mentioned that my abdomen is soft, which is a good sign.. I still feel that I could not breath fully & deeply.. That's where the oxygen is my best friend for the next 20 minutes..

12.30pm - I was seated up and my vital signs are taken every 5 minutes.. It was all looking great.. I was then served with a cup of warm water & milo and biscuit. I managed to finished them with no nausea or any issue..

1.40pm - I was finally allow to leave & get changed. I do feel slight cramping and bloated. Wear my clothes, forgotten to wear my bra, open my clothes again.. The effect of the sedation drugs.. HAHAHA!! I was then escorted by Stephanie to the comfy armchair again & had my IV plug taken out. Leave them with some great feedbacks for all the care they have showed.

There, as I step out from the OT, I saw Mountain Bear.. Sitting down calmly and got up once he saw me.. We both proceed to the registration counter to know the post surgery details..

They collected 17 Eggs!!! Alhamdulilah!! So here are the list of things that I need to co-operate with..

Waiting for Blastocyst D5 on 30th April 2020. Really hope our egg quality is good that it goes to the 5th day fertilization. Insyallah! Ramadan is a sacred and special month for us Muslim. I really hope Allah grant us this special wish we waited for... So Mountain bear has help to collect the medications and here are the list. The supply is only enough till the day of the D5 Blastocyst. If it is successful, we need to purchase more. A prescription was given to us.

25th April 2020 - 2nd  May 2020
PO Cabergoline 0.25mg (Night Dose) x 8 tabs

27th April 2020 - 29th April 2020
PO Dydrogesterone 10mg (Twice daily) x 6 tabs 

27th April 2020 - 29th April 2020
PV Crinone 8% Progesterone Cream (Twice daily) x 6 tabs

After much explanation, I was told that I will be feeling extreme bloatedness and slight spotting. Currently I do not feel any pain yet.. So we left the department and head home..

I recalled feeling super super bloated!! I couldn't move well.. I had issue peeing or pooping as whenever I tried to strain, the aching is too much to bear.. So I took it nice and slow.. And also, I tried to head to the toilet as frequently as possible as to avoid large volume of urine collected in my bladder which causes the pain.. I knew my ovaries are still swollen from the surgery, I need to be more careful not to cause torsion. I was advice to drink 2L of water & protein from egg white.. They mentioned it will help me with the bloatedness.. I also took Paracetamol whenever I feel pain and it greatly help.

Today is Day 2 post surgery, I feel much better. Still feeling bloated but not as bad compared to the previous days. I also started inserting the Crinone 8% cream into my vagina, and after inserting it, I was advice to walk around for 10 to 15 minutes..

I just realized, after the surgery, carrying a small bag of potato is already heavy for me.. I used to be able to carry up to 6 kg of items.. Now, 800gm is a struggle.. Mountain Bear has advice not to carry all these heavy stuffs..

So the team did mentioned that they will give us a call, a day before the egg transfer date. I was really hoping our lil oocyte will make it till D5 Blastocyst. But if there is any issue, a D3 transfer will be made. Insyallah, Allah is the greatest planner.

Alright ladies, I will update you guys on our next entry - TRANSFER DAY.

Take care!

23rd April 2020 - CD13 - IVF ICSI #1 (STIM DAY 11) *FINAL SCAN*

Hey ladies!!!


Today is the day I was looking forward for!!


The day where my eggs are ready for the next phase,

THE EGG RETRIEVAL DAY!!
So today we did the last injection for ovulation blocker (Orgalutran 0.25iu) at the clinic before I head for my scans..


It was fast and painless..

So about 30minutes or so, it was my turn!!


It was the same Malay sonographer from yesterday's scan! She was amazing!


So let's see what we get from this scan today!

Before I start typing out the results, the sonographer did asked me if I have any pains or cramps, feeling bloated or sort. I told her it was bearable with some fertile discharges.


23rd April 2020, Thursday @ 8.30amTransvaginal Scan
CD 13
STIM DAY 11

Right Ovary - 20.5mm, 20.5mm, 19.5mm, 19mm, 18mm, 17mm, 17mm, 16mm, 16mm, 15.5mm, 14mm

Left Ovary (Hazy) - 19mm, 19mm, 18.5mm, 18mm, 17mm, 17mm, 16mm, 16.5mm, 15mm, 15mm, 14mm, 14mm, 14.5mm

Uterus Lining - 10.9mm Triple Layer

What a shocker!!!! What a blessing!!! Subhanallah!!!


I was super super happy to hear this! The previous IUI, my egg managed to grow up to 18mm maximum! But this is amazing!! I can't believe my body is capable to procedure this amount and size growth of the eggs!


So the sonographer wish me "ALL THE BEST" and I couldn't contained my emotions..

I somewhat "Graduated" from the IVF STIM Injection period.. It was a tough period but I made it through with Mountain Bear..


So I sat down and was told to wait for the Dr to call in..

Waited almost 45 minutes before my number appear on the screen. My heart felt like it sank down to my anus as I walked into the room.. I didn't know what to expect.

I was greeted by a Dr that I've never seen before. So she explained to me that my eggs are super ready to be extracted on SATURDAY, 25th April 2020 and there are few things that I need to do which will be explained by the nurses once I collected my Pharmacy meds..

They wish me all the best and told me to get the meds at the pharmacy and return here to the clinic.

I did as what they asked me to. Got the drugs & antibiotic, I waited for my number to be called again at the registration counter.

Less than 15 minutes, it was my turn & I was attended by Nurse Adeline.

So she explained to me that my procedure will be done on


Saturday, 25th April 2020
10.20am


Mountain Bear need to submit his SEMEN sample by 9.45am on 25th April 2020, Saturday. Within 1 hour from my procedure timing.

Also tonight, Thursday 23rd April 2020 @ 11.20pm, I need to inject myself with Ovidrel 250mcg to induce ovulation. I recall this when I did my IUI.. And also, I need to take the Antibiotic Azithromycin 1gm today as well after dinner. (I just ate it 15 minutes ago at work) She explained that I might encounter some diarrhea after taking it. Well noted!


After acknowledging all the procedures steps, I was told to signed the forms & proceed to the next room to do a Progesterone Serum Blood test.

Blood taking was performed by Nurse Beh, she is amazing!! Once that's done, I can head off to work!

Well ladies! I will update again on the day of the procedure ya!

Also, once I'm all organized and stable, I will share the amount we spend for this procedure.

Here is the Gonal F & Orgalutran Injection Schedule

Take care!

22nd April 2020 - CD12 - IVF ICSI #1 (STIM DAY 10)

Hey ladies!

Today is the day for my 3rd Scans and goodness!!! It was well than what I expected.

Let's go straight to the details.

So reached the clinic, I press on the button to get the tickets for the scan and the injections.

The injection nurse call up my number and I head there for the jab.

It's the Orgalutran 0.25iu (Blocker) *goosebumps*

I was really amazed by the skills done by these nurses.. I honestly didn't feel any pain! Once that's done, I went to the waiting area for the scan..

Waited about 25 minutes and my number was show on the digital board. I head into room 5 and was greeted by a Malay Sonographer whom I seen her around before!

So I lay down and here are the goodies seen!!! 

22nd April 2020, Wednesday @ 8.30am
Transvaginal Scan
CD 12
STIM DAY 10

Right Ovary - 18mm, 17mm, 16mm, 16mm, 15.5mm, 14mm, 14.5mm, 13mm, 11mm, 12mm, 12mm

Left Ovary - 15mm, 14.5mm, 14mm, 13.5mm, 13mm, 13mm, 13mm, 12mm, 12mm, 11mm, 11mm, 11mm

Uterus Lining - 10mm Triple Layer

Masyallah!!!! I was super super happy to hear that! So it took around 10 minutes & I got up and proceed to wait for the Dr.

Again, waited for around 15-20 minutes, quite a crowd today compared to the other days I was here and I was called in..

I was greeted by Dr Veronique Celine & the staffs. I was seated down and verification of my ID is checked.

So she mentioned that I have a great number of eggs and 4 of them are ready to be retrieved. But the few others are not far behind. So she wanted to give me another shot of Gonal F 175iu dose & Orgalutran 0.25iu and come back tomorrow 23rd April 2020, Thursday for another scan before proceeding for the retrieval.

So she hand me the prescriptions & off I went to the Pharmacy to get the drugs.
So today I receieved

Gonal F 75iu x 2 vial (150iu self mix)
Orgalutran x 1 syringe

Please do not forget to bring the balance of your Gonal F from the previous injection pen as they will use the balance to add up.

Again, I met the same nurse who did my Orgalutran. She is amazing!!! She explains to me & ensure I'm at ease. Thank you Nurse Beh!

So that's done! I was allow to return home or back to work.. But since I'm gonna go work, I have 2 hours to spare.. Hmmm....

Yeah..... I head out to do some quick shopping.. Buying some goods to help boost the growth of my eggs.. More anti-oxidants is good! Like buying.....

Dates Milk
Almonds Unsalted
Fresh Blueberries
Vitamin C Lemon drink
Nuts
Baked Sweet Potato

Once that done, I went to Jollibee!! LOL! Bought myself 1pc chicken set with fries & off I head to work!

That's all for today ladies!!

Will update tomorrow!

21st April 2020 - CD11 - IVF ICSI #1 (STIM DAY 9)

Hey ladies!

Let's get this post done!

20th April 2020, I went back to my IVF Dept to get me morning jab (Orgalutran 0.25iu) & scans done..

I was queue no 10 patiently waiting.. It was around 20-30minutes when it's my turn to get the scan done..

So the sonographer is the same lady who did for me during my IUI period. And today the transvaginal scan will last slightly longer as they needed to count the eggs.

So get ready to see the results! **EXCITED MODE**

20th April 2020, Monday @ 8.15am
Transvaginal Scan
CD 10
STIM DAY 8

Right Ovary - 15mm, 14mm, 13.5mm, 13mm, 12.5mm, 12mm, 12mm, 11mm, 10.5mm, 10mm, 10mm, 10mm, 10mm

Left Ovary - 14.5mm, 14mm, 13.5mm, 13mm, 12mm, 12mm, 10.5mm. 10mm, 9mm, 8mm, 8mm

Uterus Lining - 8.5mm

 Masyallah!!!! Look at the number of eggs!!! The sonographer tried to be as gentle as possible while doing the scans but I had some discomfort during the procedure..

I realized that I was not able to pee properly this morning & felt extremely sore at my ovaries (pelvic regions) when sitting on the toilet seat. I was afraid I had OHSS.. But alhamdulilah (thank god) it wasn't.

She even mentioned that she will count the other eggs on the next scans.. Which means, I have other eggs not detected & measured???

More than 23 eggs ladies!!! 23 eggs!!! Alhamdulilah!!!

I checked online on the sizes of the eggs needed to be before the retrieval. There are many different sites that shared different range. But the most common range that I saw was

16mm - 22mm (ideally) 

And some even stated

13mm onwards

Also, for the lining ideally will be better if it's Tri-laminar (triple line) & thickness is above

9mm - 10mm 

I was super happy to hear that! And once it's done, I was told to proceed to the waiting area for the consultation with the Dr.

Waited around 10 minutes, I was attended by a male Dr who explained to me that I responded well to the drugs & I have alot of eggs!! And he mentioned that I needed to continue with another 2 more days of injections to increase the size of the eggs before the retrieval and head back for the next scan on Wednesday, 22nd April 2020. So he pass me the prescriptions for me to collect from the Pharmacy & return back to the clinic to get the drugs mixed by the nurses from the previous vials.

So I did that, thanked the staffs & Dr, proceed to the Pharmacy and get the drugs.. Returned to the IVF department, press a number & waited. My butt was not even warming up, my number was called.. It was that EFFICIENT! LOL!! So the nurses did what she did best, jab me with no mercy & off I head home, feeling extremely tired & sleepy..

So I head to my mom's place to rest as I was all alone at home, bought some meals for them & rested for about 3 hours before heading home. I did not tell them anything on this IVF procedure. It was between Mountain Bear, Me & my medical team at work. I just want it to be super caution this round.. I don't want to work on excitements much when it's not confirmed yet..

So that's for Monday!!

21st April 2020, I was woken up by Mountain Bear at 7 in the morning for the Jab..

OH MY ALLAH............................. The fear............ The worry..................

Got up, run to the living room sofa with my blanky & lay under his arm.. My head keeps repeating the "poking part" scene & how badly the pain was & how much I will delay in getting it poke into my fats..

Mountain Bear was sitting beside me as I took the items from the fridge, had my first jab done. Gonal F wasn't bad at all as the needle is thin and small.. But Orgalutran needle... Masyallah... Gives me the creeps & goosebumps by just seeing it. I told Mountain Bear to pull my hair (Yes, I told him to do that) in an effort to divert my pain sensation & asked him to squeeze my thigh as I injected it. That tactic worked slightly but then I started talking nonsense with him as to distract the cooling sensation from the drugs entering to my fats as I push the syringe in... It was a traumatic period for me.. Hahahaha!!! But Mountain Bear keeps supporting me, by saying that "I AM STRONG & YOU CAN DO IT BABY!" I cried.. Not because of the cheering up words, but the after pain.. HAHAHAHA!

Oh well, that's done! Mountain Bear head off to work & after a bear hug from him, I head back to bed and tried to sleep as I'm working afternoon this whole week!

So let's recap on the injection list

STIM #7 (19/4/2020) Sunday
175iu - Gonal F 450iu Pen
Right Belly
0.5mls - Orgalutran (Administered by Mountain Bear)
Left Belly
Symptoms: Sleepy, Tired, bloated, mild cramping both sides

STIM #8 (20/4/2020) Monday
175iu - Gonal F 450iu Pen balance + new 300iu Pen (Mixed by Nurse)
Left Belly
0.5mls - Orgalutran (Administered by Nurse)
Right Belly
Symptoms: Sleepy, Tired, bloated, clear discharges

STIM #9 (21/4/2020) Tuesday
175iu - Gonal F 300iu Pen
Right Belly
0.5mls - Orgalutran (Administered by self)
Left Belly
Symptoms: Vaginal Soreness, bloated, clear discharges

So yeah, hopefully tomorrow my eggs are at the ideal size and we can start to proceed with the egg retrieval process!! This coming Friday is our Ramadhan & fasting is required. I really hope the procedure can be done on Thursday.

Alright ladies! Will update you soonest! Take care!!

Xoxo

18th April 2020 CD8 - IVF ICSI #1 (STIM DAY 6)

Hi Ladies,

What a week......

I mean really......................... WHAT A WEEK!!!

Today is my CD8 and DAY6 STIM with the fertility injections.. *ouchh*

I would like to share some symptoms that I have been going through and also share with you the list of drugs & it's schedules.


IVF INJECTIONS & SYMPTOMS

STIM #1 (13/4/2020) Monday
175iu - Gonal F 900iu Pen
Left Belly
Symptoms: Extremely sleepy & tired, Headache


STIM #2 (14/4/2020) Tuesday
175iu - Gonal F 900iu Pen
Right Belly
Symptoms: Extremely sleepy & tired, diarrhoea, cramping

STIM #3 (15/4/2020) Wednesday
175iu - Gonal F 900iu Pen
Left Belly
Symptoms: Sleepy but insomnia, pelvic cramping, diarrhoea

STIM #4 (16/4/2020) Thursday
175iu - Gonal F 900iu Pen
Right Belly
Symptoms: Pelvic Cramping increase, tired, insomnia, diarrhoea, bloated

STIM #5 (17/4/2020) Friday
175iu - Gonal F 900iu Pen
Right Belly
0.5mls - Orgalutran (Administered by my clinic Dr)
Left Belly
Symptoms: Hot flushes, cramping on both sides, yellowish discharges no foul smell, tired, backache, bloated

STIM #6 (18/4/2020) Saturday
175iu - Gonal F 450iu Pen
Left Belly
0.5mls - Orgalutran (Administered by my clinic Dr)
Right Belly
Symptoms: Sleepy, Tired, bloated, mild cramping both sides


Oh my goodness...... It has been a pretty mental stressing period for me trying to inject myself with these.. But Mountain Bear has been very very very supportive and sensitive towards me doing the injections.. I really hope that this injections is sufficient enough to allow my eggs to grow maturely to the adoring size for Egg Retrieval.. The dosage for Gonal - F are from 50iu to 450iu daily, depending on the Drs prescriptions and also the responses from the patients but also, this can cause OHSS to those who underwent it.. Precaution is needed when higher doses is given with more frequent scans done to check the eggs response...

Oh ya! I forgotten to include my AMH results.. 9.0 ng/ml

Yeap..... PCOS is definitely my diagnosis!! But also, I have TONS of eggs!! But my egg might not be of the greatest & the bestest quality as the number is large... But hopefully after the Egg Retrieval, the number will reduce..

I've also included taking in my Metformin 500mg TDS, Vitamin C, Brazil Nuts, Almond Nuts & Drinking red date drinks. Trying to cut down on my cold sodas.

Tomorrow is SUNDAY, I need to inject the Orgalutran on my own... URGHHH!!! I couldn't sleep well thinking about it!! Just 2 more days for injections!!!

Monday morning, I will be heading to my clinic to get a scan done & another Orgalutran shots by the nurses..

I will definitely update you ladies on the scans report and the next steps!

Hoping for the best!!!

13th April 2020 - CD3 Prepping For IVF ICSI #1

Hey Ladies!!

Finally!!

11th April 2020: Saturday afternoon at about 1pm, I felt some discharges came out from my vaginal..

I thought to myself, "meh.... Just the normal discharges..."

Then when I had to pee,

OH MY GOODNESSS..............

I HAD MY PERIOD!!!!!!!

I was super happy to see that red stains on my panties... Hahaha!!

So tried to call my IVF Department, their hotline are closed for the weekend..

Urghhh.. So i decide to email them and continue tracking my flow..

12th April 2020 (Sunday): My flow are heavy, no other symptoms to share.. Just mild cramps & aching boobs.. I started drinking alot of water to prep my body for this IVF. Trying hard to control my sudden love for sweet snacks.. Hehehe.. So I told my colleague that I will be heading to my IVF clinic tomorrow to get my scans done.. She understood and willing to cover for me.. *Hearts*

13th April 2020 (Monday): Today at 7.15am, I reached my IVF Department, I was queue no 5.I recalled that I didn't get an appointment made as the line was closed on Saturday. I approach one of the nurses and she assist me on retrieving my records.. No time wasted, I was seen by the sonographer by 8am. So what I got from the scan results today?

13th April 2020, Monday (CD3)
Left Ovary -  Many Small Follicles seen
Right Ovary -  Many Small Follicles seen
Uterus Lining -  3.3mm

"That's good!" said my familiar sono tech to me.. I recalled her during my IUI procedure scanning & she recalled me as the Nurse.. Hehehe.. So once that's done, i sat outside and waited for my prescription.

It's 9.15am, I was called in by the Nurse where she explain to me the next procedure.
I took the prescription and head to the pharmacy to get my drugs collected. Was told to return back to the clinic to get the teaching done.

So went up, pass the presciption list to the Pharmacist and waited. Also, I was told that Mountain Bear also needed to eat ANTIBIOTIC - Arithromycin 1g (4 tablets 240mg each) today.
So what I received for today's haul?

1 vial pen x Gonal F 900
1 vial pen x Gonal F 450
4 vial x Orgalutran 0.25mls
30 tabs x Folic Acid
4 tabs x Arithromycin (For Mountain Bear)

So today is my 1st injection with Gonal F 900iu/1.5ml
My dose is : 175iu
I recalled the last time I did IUI, the highest dosage I gotten was 100iu.
So was taught by this lovely senior staff nurse, helped me refresh on the ways & pain felt during the injections.. Hahaha!!

So she showed me the schedule list that I need to have it injected daily till the next scan day.

So my next scan will be on 20th April 2020 (Monday) at 7.30am.

So now I am back at work, half day MC applied.. LOL!

I will update you ladies on the next post ya! Till then!

Covid-19 - A Blessing Or A Curse

Being in the medical line, this situation is worst than SARS...

More than 1 million cases reported all over the world, having it started at Wuhan, China first with 86,000 cases, now USA topped the list with more than 200,000 cases reported.. It's crazy!!

Here in Singapore, we have just started the STAY AT HOME NOTICE or what our gahmen (government) decide to call "CIRCUIT BREAKER" on 7th April 2020, where all the non essential shops & companies will be closed till May, 4th 2020.

I was pretty shocked to know the number keeps rising, be it in Singapore or worldwide..

I pray that these situation will be sorted soon and everyone gets back safely to their families...

Seeing this, coming at the start of 2020, I was telling myself, what a way to start the year...

I recalled seeing everyone gets excited for the NEW YEAR.. But this year, I felt it's different..

A lot of people whom I spoke too, some of them have difference view on these pandemic..

Some say it's a curse... Why is that so?

Human are selfish, ego and forget who rules the world.. They think they are GOD and everything occurs or happens in their will.. But now, a small virus that attacks the respiratory system, brought down from GOD, none one of them have the power to prevent it fully from happening.. They forget the almighty is there & he is angry with his creations.. And he is doing "cleaning" to Earth that he has created.. through deaths... Populations are rising, the earth is getting old.. And getting too dirty... Now it's the time for Earth to rejuvenate itself...

While some say it's a blessing..

It's a sign that, in Islam, when someone who dies from a virus, battling their lives to survive, died after, he/she is a martyr (shahid) and someone feels more connected to God, more time spent with families, leaving their goal to gain more on earth & focus on hereafter, appreciate what they have as it is, perform more good deeds and prayer to prepare themselves for the worst.. Some gets to work from home, spent more time with family.. And especially to those who hits with the virus, their faith towards their Lord are greater.. Praying to Him harder to get well soon and constantly thinking of doing the best for themselves for afterlife..

I was amazed.. A small virus could

- Damage Revenue
- Affect Business
- Increase fear in people
- Affect schools, company

Yet it also helped in

- Recover the nature to it's pristine self
- Clearer skies
- Animal return to their habitat

No human can cause all these.. Not ever the ones who claim their have POWER to rule the world...

They are nothing compared to the CREATOR of the WORLD...

It's a great reminder to us & hopefully to those who think they are GOD... They are not...

7th April 2020 - Aunt Flo still not here

.....And it is very very frustrating!!!

Ya Allah......

I could not express how upset, mad, angry, disappointed...

When I truly made an effort to go through some traumatic procedure just to get pregnant like this IVF, something bound to occur!

In this case, my period! Urghhh... I honestly felt like I wanna gave up!

My last period was on 10th February 2020 ladies.... 10 FEBRUARY 2020!!!

And today it's 7th April 2020 & no sign of her....

So i decide to call my IVF department and requested for Medroxyprogesterone on 27th March 2020 and started eating them twice daily (10mg x 2 times daily).

It's already 12 days after & i stopped eating it on 3rd April 2020 (7 days) still... no signs

Pregnancy test? Clear as the sky!!! Nothing...

I started taking in Papaya & Pineapple juice now, hoping it will help too!

I also included rubbing Castor oil on my lower abdomen to hopefully help with the flow...

Sighh...... It's super super upsetting... I keep on bugging Mountain Bear on "why am I not having my period yet?"

And he keeps telling me "Patience love.... patience...."

I'm feeling super useless now.. Like, I don't know what else I wanna do to make this happen...

I know Allah is the Planner & by His Will, it will happen but on my part as well, I did what I was expected to do.. Sigh...

Infertility sucks badly...

I also received a news that some of my friends are having their 2nd child now..

Like, how could they get it so easily?

And why didn't I get that chance as well? i am not asking for alot of kids...

Just 1 child, I would feel happy!

Not to say that right now, I am not happy or anything...

I have a bless life with Mountain Bear! We really enjoy each other company!

We laugh, we date, we enjoy uninterrupted night sleeps, we go out and roam till late night, enjoy eating alot of meals together and simply enjoy cuddling with each other on weekends..

I am indeed blessed with these.. :)

But as a women.... As a wife.... As a daughter..... As a daughter in law.....

I really want to be a mother.... Like I don't feel complete.. Or feel at my upmost capability as a women on how a woman should work & function...

I know my days will come....

But I hope it won't be too late...