A Call From The Doctor's Office.....

Friday, 29th September 2017.

I received 5 missed call from Dr Neha early in the morning.

I was still asleep as my shift starts at 1400hrs...

Initially it was an unknown number, which usually I don't really entertain.
*blame all these insurance and credit cards telemarketers for this*

So I decide to answer it...

Me: Hello....*sleepyhead*

Dr: Hi Hello... Can  I speak to ******?

Me: Yes... ******* speaking..

Dr: Hi Dear, can i verify your IC number please?

Me: ***********

Dr: Thanks dear, alright so sorry to bother you early in the morning, I just want to convey the message fast on the blood test results.

Me: *alert & attentive*....yes sure..

Dr: Ok, It seems that your Rubella Virus IGG Antibodies are negative. We need you to get a vaccine for it.. Don't worry, about 20% of ladies who wants to get pregnant has this and requires the vaccine. But do take note that you need to avoid 3 MONTHS from getting pregnant when you are on this vaccine.

Me:........oh.......*heart breaks alil*

Dr: Yeahh....But don't worry, you are still young, we can resume the conceiving plans once it's over. It's actually a good preparation to ensure that your child will not be exposed to all these viruses as you are working in the healthcare industry and facing individuals who might be carrying such viruses. It could cause Heart & Brain damage to the fetus. So it's good that we detected it dear. *paused and waiting for my respond*.....oh.. And also, seems that your HbA1C is on the high side..

Me:....hmm... How high is it, doc? *felt anxious*

Dr: It's 7.2 currently. The normal levels should be 6.4 and lower..

Me:.....Ohhh....

Dr: Yes..  So I've schedule you to get an OGT Test to see if you are diabetic or not..

Me: *getting much upset upon the news but tried to act fine*......Oh sure!.. So when can i come over?

Dr: I will prepare your documents for the MMR Vaccines and the OGT Form and leave it at the counter today. You can have it done in  your department or you can have it taken  here in the clinic before your next consultation appointment with me.. As for the other test, your T4 & FSH are normal, your HB count  are great and so are your Full Blood Count test. And you can take the Rubella Vaccine on the same day of your HyFoSy mid Oct alright.. And we can prepare for you and ensure your body is ready to conceived in January next year.

Me: .........*clear my throat*...Alright Dr Neha, thank you..

Dr: No problem dear, don't worry we will try our best to make it smooth for you..

Me: I really hope so too...

*Hung up*

I recalled, sitting on my bed, dazing and started to cry... alone in the room... I felt so emotional... I had that "I HATE MYSELF" kind of emotions running through my head and heart.. "I can't get pregnant after my HyFoSy procedure??" I couldn't stop my tears from pouring out.. I really can't... It was like a faulty tap that keeps water running.. 

I've made plans that if i were to conceived on Oct, our lil miracle will be born in July, and it could be the best gift for Mountain Bear as it was his birthday month. All was ruined, i kept chanting to myself... 

Looking at the clock with my swollen eyes, i saw its almost 1130hrs... Got up, tried to relax myself and head in for a shower. 

Still crying though...

Looked myself in  the mirror..."oh my god babe, look at those red eyes.. You need to work!!" So calm myself under the running rain shower and istighfar...

"Allah is the best planner.." I keep chanting to myself....

So wash and dry up, clean myself and decide to drop by the hospital to get the documents and jab..

Decide to message Mountain Bear on it.. But I couldn't gather the courage to speak to him without crying.

He called few times but i had to reject his call.. I literally couldn't talk. I was choking on my tears. And decide to tell him through SMS instead.

It was tough for me.. I felt so useless and upset with myself. What did I do wrong in life that I was given such obstacles? I almost felt I was going into a depression state. Almost being in a denial state.

But Mountain Bear has been very supportive and understanding. He even said, "Takpe, ini dugaan kite.. Insyallah all will be ok :)" [It's alright this is our obstacles, God Will, it will be just fine..]

Masyallah... Thank you Allah for sending Mountain Bear for me.. 

Being in this chaos roller coaster hormones state, it's a blessing to have a partner who is really rooted to reality and help you to sync better...

Thank you love... Thank you so much... your wife really needs that...

Tried to snap out of it, manage to get my uncle to fetch me from home and have me drive to the hospital. Uncle was concern, seeing me so down and sad. I just decide to tell him that I need to get some documents and additional blood test to be done. He was supportive of me and told me that God has His plans for you. Patience.. 

I agreed....

It was a quick drop by... The nurses passed me the documents, given me a subcutaneous jab, and I quickly left for work.. 

I just wanted to work... I just want to keep that thoughts out for a moment.. And working has been the best thing ever. With the stock counts and busy consultations, i started to tell myself that I should be grateful, that I am currently trying to get myself in a great shape to carry a child... And it's not that I'm not able to conceived, i can. But it requires time and more test to be done before that miracle could happen.

Telling myself to be positive.. And constantly istighfar.. 

So Mountain Bear decide to fetch me from work and we head off to the beach at night and enjoy a good meal.. 

Soon, I will be starting on my riceless meal.. 

Definitely I will share with you guys on the foods, things we did differently after receiving this news. Without me knowing, Mountain Bear took the time to research on the conditions and the vaccines that I will be taking.. And definitely I know he will take great care of me when I couldn't afford to remind myself that.

it's 0324hrs and that's for today.

Happy Weekends to all of ya! *Huggies*

The Fertility Journey Starts...

This is where things get REAL & Serious..

The day when i look onto the Pregnancy Test Kit..

It shows.... NEGATIVE still....

Well, don't give up! It's the most interesting yet tough journey yet in a marriage..

And boy, was i excited about it now!

Hahahaha!!

So let's start!

Few weeks before my appointment with the reproductive specialist,

I decided to have Mountain Bear to have a Semen Analysis sample be sent in at one of our local laboratory. For $42.80.

Basically the test will show the status for the sperms and it's motility. Will go in depth soon.

And how to obtain it? Well, we had the sample excreted from home and we do have a time limit of 2 hours to have the sample sent to the lab for testing.

Ensure you need to abstain from sexual intercourse for at least 3 days to get the optimal results. We abstain for almost 1 week as Aunt Flo visited me during these periods.. LOL!

So here are the test result.

Volume 

6.5mL

(>1.5)

Sperm Concentration

28.7

(>15.0)

Viability

75%

(>58)

Sperm Motility

Progressive

50%

(>32)

Morphology

Normal - 10% (>4)

Abnormal - 90%

So, today i went to meet up with the reproductive speicalist in one of our government healthcare, it was smooth and efficient!

Here let me spread it out!

So went in for registrations and also, they need your partner details as well (for male fertility test) so please remember your partner's identification details. Since Mountain Bear has done his deed, he is excused from being here with me for this consultation. (I prefer it that way, just in case I felt sad or hopeless, won't want to show it to him)

So the clerk direct me to the vital sign stations to get a baseline.

I was shocked to see my blood pressure readings.

146/86??!!

I'm a 28 year old lady.. That's pretty high!

So decide to have it repeated after a consult with the dr..

And my height and weight too!

Waited for almost 10 minutes and my number was flashing on the screen..

Here goes nothing.. I whispered as i entered the room..

Was greeted by the Dr's assistant with a smile and was greeted by Dr Neha too.

So we started with my backgrounds if I have any medical conditions, and also she asked in regards to my family medical history and same goes to Mountain Bear's side too.

And she asked how long we have been married, so i stated 3 years and she asked how long have we actively trying to conceived and I said about 1 year now.

She also asked how frequent have we did it and I mentioned for 2-3 times a week

and she said, that's good!

Asked my occupation and I stated Registered Nurse, and she smiled "that's wonderful".. And asked Mountain bear occupation too and his particulars..

If he smokes or drink or had any operations done, recent pneumonia suspect TB early this January after our trip from Kuala Lumpur, his weight height & any problems or pain during intercouse which is non. So I slipped out Mountain Bear's Semen Analysis results and she mentioned, Mountain Bear's great! And advice to have another specimens obtain in December 2017 for follow up after taking in supplements eg. Zinc.

And she asked in regards to my PCOS and also my weight and diet. She was happy to know I'm losing weight SLOOOOWWWWLLLLYYYY... But the results are still there. LOL!

She even asked when was the last menses and I mentioned 11th September 2017 and she asked if the menses was assisted by any pills (Provera) and I said, No, naturally..
And she said that's great!

So looking into the records, she notice I had not done my PAP SMEAR since 2014, which is clearly due for one.. And yes, I had it done today by Dr Neha and her assistant. Was alil uncomfy and pretty tummy twisting kinda feeling. Was done in 20 seconds. And she did the finger examinations and say all is good and done!
Somehow I'm sooooo nervous for my PAP SMEAR results.. Knowing it will be normal, still feel that suspend...
**UPDATES: PAP SMEAR RESULTS WAS NORMAL!!!**

So clean myself up, wash up and sat down back with her.
So she mentioned, "well, I would like to push your case to have the fastest test possible. So I will arrange a HyFoSy (HyCoSy) for you and need to have it done by October 2017.
So if by 11th October no menses, to take 3-5 days of Provera and call the Diagnostic Dept once you had your menses to schedule for the procedure. But before you take Provera, do a pregnancy test first to ensure you are not pregnant. We will have the procedure done before the 10th day or CD10 (Cycle Day). And also, we need to get some sample of your blood for the following test:

HbA1C
Rubella Virus IGG Antibody
Anti-Mullerian Hormone
Prolactin
Free T4/TSH

So after the explanations, she asked if I have any other question, I asked in regards of my possibly anovulatory menses and she explained that it's possible I might had that as my menses was not regular and it's pretty hard to detect it too. So thats why she wants me to induce my menses if it did not showed up by 10th October and get the test done.

So HyFosy or known as Hysterosalpingo-foam-sonography is somehow an invasive procedure where they introduce saline solution or dye contrast into the uterus to have it check via ultrasound on any abnormalities or blockage which, i heard, if seen during the procedure, they will help to unblocked it if it's a simple mild blockage using the pressure introduced. I was given antibiotics to be taken on the procedure day in case if any potential infection were to flare, I'm all prepared. Also they will count my follicle reserve and see the PCOS area too!

So I was satisfied with the consult, was escort out to the waiting room for my documents and also to repeat my Blood Pressure. It was 133/76.. Slightly lowered but not my usual readings of 112/75. Must be the PAP SMEAR tension.. LOL!! So I was given the blood test form and proceed to have it done..

I have a confession to make.. My cubital veins are invisible and deep. Only my current physician I worked with was the only one who manage to get it with 1 try! His trick? Using a Blood Pressure Cuff as it's bigger inflating device and stable. Since the blood here are done by fellow Registered Nurses, I saved their time and needles by telling them to obtain the blood from my dorsal veins.. As much as I know it hurts, I prefer to get poked once, just like how i did to my other patients too.. So it was obtained!

So went to the counter for payment, came up to $138.00 for all which is after subsidy from the government, it's alright! Plus it was my first visit, obviously alil pricey.

So my next appointment with the consultant is on the November 2017 if there is no issue.

Will update soon on the next blog!

Till then, hope my post is useful for those who are struggling too!

Let's Begin! Part II

It has been weeks I have not updated on my journey..

been having the pink eye.. 

Which dragged for 3 weeks and has not subsided!!

Went to the ER.. Scleritis!! 

*Smack forehead*

Why didn't i go earlier to have it treated...

Some steriod drops and poof!! All better!

So let's start on the fertility slash pregnancy wanting blog!
So finally on the 11th September 2017, I had my period naturally without any pills to induce.

I've been trying to cut down on the sweet stuffs and also, trying to reduce my weight as well.. Heard that it helps very much for those who are suffering from PCOS. So why not?!

So far, doing pretty well... I won't lie, I did have numerous times on "Cheat Day" even before starting the diet.. LOL!! Fail!!

Well, been busy with work and all.. Pretty much got home from work and slept like a log!

Been pretty tired I would say... And for the whole September I have been POAS (pee-on-a-stick) to basically track my ovulation. I recalled that I did see one of the test which looks positive and we did the deeds.

Seems that it turns out to be Aunt Flo who came.. urghh... But hey! I was happy too because my period came this month! I thought she might not pop up! And I felt that ovulation test isn't a great solution for PCOS sufferer like me. It's all messy and the results are all over the place..

Must be the diet and change in my diet style that caused it. Should continue on that!

So yes, nothing much was done for this blog.. Mountain bear has done his part of the fertility journey which i will discuss on the next blog post! And also I've fixed an appointment with the REPRODUCTIVE SPECIALIST for this too! And I would gladly share with you ladies on the journey I will embark!

So sorry for the short blog post, but definitely will update soon on the next post!

Be safe!