That's What She Said: DELIVERY DAY - PART 2 (COMPLICATION & THE BIRTH) 12TH JUNE 2021 (SATURDAY)

......And we went down to the Delivery Suite at 2.45am.. I was seated on the wheelchair and was waiting for the midwives to receive me at the suite main counter. We were usher into Room 6 (If I could recall that's the room number.. LOL!)

I was attended by a Malay Nursing Clinician who was on duty. She then assist me onto the bed and hook up the CTG machines and set the BP cuff onto my right hand. I was then taught how to use the "Laughing Gas" mask. The medical name for the gas is Nitrous Oxide which is mix of 50/50 with oxygen. Initially before I hit 36 weeks, I did mentioned to Mountain Bear that I wish to use just the gas and avoid getting the epidural. But that wasn't the case.. LOL!

So once I was settled down and they manage to get a baseline for me, little one is still active and kicking, they decided to do a cervix check and found that I was only 3cm dilated.. OH MY GOD.... The pessary was inserted almost 13 hours ago and it's only 3cm dilated?! I spoke to myself.. So I tried to breathe normally and the nurse on duty hook me up with the Oxytocin IV Drip to encourage & promote regular contractions for the labor. I manage to get some rest and so did Mountain Bear.. It was a quick night!

0900hrs - I was told that my cervix is at 4cm dilated and they are going to burst my waterbag.. I was anxious... Super duper anxious.. my uterine contraction is still bearable at the 80 to 90. Waited for Dr Ho to arrive & she was super gentle with me when she did the bursting.. I didn't feel any pain at all.. Suddenly....

I could feel warm fluids gushing out with no control on my part! I thought that I was peeing and couldn't control my bladder muscles! But it was all the amniotic fluids! No pains at all, mind you I was still not on epidural at this moment.. So with that so, Dr mentioned that I need to deliver the baby within 8-12 hours, provided baby's vital signs are good and consistence. They were super helpful. So now they already increase my Oxytocin level up to promote more intense and regular contractions.. Initially it was around 5 - 7mins.. I was still using the laughing gas to manage my pain.

Ok after this, I had the difficulties to recall what actually happen to me as the pain increased and the usage of the gas has made me semi-conscious. Most of this portions were recorded by Mountain Bear for me.. He did write a note of what happen to me.. He knew I wanted to get this documented in my BLOG.. Thank you my Love!

1400hrs - I was in alot of pain, it seems that the contractions is getting super intense. The readings on the CTG machines for uterine contraction is over 150 - 190. it was getting regular at 3mins - 5mins apart. I was really really drowsy and remembered telling Mountain Bear to get the epidural fixed after almost 12 hours on the Laughing Gas!! He was hesitant at first because he knew my pain tolerance is very high but he sees that I was begging him to do so, he called the nurse for me. And within 10mins, the anesthetist Dr Suzanna came to my rescue. She was amazing! I knew I was alil groggy & drowsy in which causes me to unable to support myself in the sitting position, she needed to raise her voice so that I could be heard in my cloudy mind. I don't mind her being fierce because I understand, she is about to poke a needle into my spine which could permanently paralyzed me if I had any sudden moves. I apologized to the nurse and remembered telling her to hold me as I am very unstable due to the prolonged inhalation of the Nitrous Oxide Gas.

She was amazing! She was there, holding me and allowing me to rest my head on her shoulder. Mountain Bear was told to wait outside when the procedure was done. I could still feel the intense contractions when sitting down and I recalled alot of fluids flow out. I couldn't remember if it was my urine that flows out or the balance of amniotic fluid. But I could clearly remember my legs and arms were shaking uncontrollably and I couldn't stop it. I told the nurse what's happening, she mentioned not to worried about it.. Maybe I was in alot of pain that my body is compensating it by trembling to keep my organs and systems intact. Once Dr Suzanna poke the lignocaine at the surrounding, I could feel just a minimal discomfort when she does that. Then when she poke in the epidural guiding needle, I didn't feel a thing! She is truly the best! After that, I couldn't feel anymore contraction.. Allah... It was the greatest feeling ever!! I was sooo relaxed!! Dr Suzanna then clean me up and had alot of tape pasted behind my back and hand me this cute bell which looks like the bell press on Wheel Of Fortune. She told me that if I ever feel the pain, press this button. It will release the drug at 10mins interval when needed. I nodded and convey my upmost thank you to her and the team. Then I went to dreamland. I too remembered having the urine catheter inserted to me with no discomfort. Mountain Bear came in and he saw me relaxed. And I told him with my eyes closed that I can finally rest for the moment, while the contraction readings were above 180 & I couldn't feel a thing.

1450hrs - My cervix dilation was at 6cm.. Again.. I couldn't feel anything.. :)

1630hrs - My cervix dilation was at 7cm... I remembered Mountain Bear told me but I was semi conscious. That Laughing Gas really had me.. LOL! It was very strong!

2010hrs - This is it.. I remembered partially awake and remembered hearing the midwives telling Mountain Bear that I was already 10cm dilated and full effaced. Fully effaced means that my cervix is thin as paper thin. This means that I am ready to push along with fully dilated. You may read here to know more about this phase. So they reduce my epidural level to allow me to get the contraction sensation which will help me push.

2130hrs - I started pushing.. But I could feel lil one is still high up.. I could feel the intense pain of the contraction. The team were amazing! They are really really supportive and the room was occupied by 5 nurses.. Each has their own duties to do. I was assisted by 1 amazing Filipino Nurse and Mountain Bear. She gave the instruction and taught me how to push. I knew I had some issue in pushing it.. Because my face turned red & she mentioned that I was pushing it using my face muscle and not my abdomen. During that period. I really couldn't distinguish between these 2 pushing method.. This causes the delay in the delivery.. I remembered crying lightly asking for help. Mountain Bear was helpless when he saw me crying in pain after the epidural was disabled for the pushing session. I requested for the epidural medication to be on 50%. Which they gladly did.. We did a few tries after that, Mountain Bear saw lil one's head peeping through my vaginal canal.. He was ecstatic when he saw it.. Saying our lil one has ALOT of hair.. LOL!

We waited for our Dr Ho, I was still in pain and it has been more than 12 hours since the waterbag burst. Mountain Bear wanted to suggest for an emergency C section. But Dr Ho was alert. She noted that lil ones vitals were amazing and strong. She decided that we proceed with assisted labor using a forceps.

1040hrs - The teams were ready for the assisted labor. Mountain Bear help to hold the back of my head, the amazing filipino nurse was on my other side, helping to hold my leg and supported me mentally & emotionally. Dr Ho inserted the forcep gently around lil one's head and did an episiotomy cut & we waited for the contraction to come...

CONTRACTION CAME.....

PUSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! COME ON BABY....... PUSHHHH!!!!!!!! YES DEARRR!!!!! PUSHHHH!!!!

I remembered they cheered for me to push... All the nurses, Drs & Mountain Bear were there...

waited for the next contraction....

CONTRACTION CAME...... 1 2 3............

PUSSHHHHHH DEAR!!!!!!! I push with all my might! I could feel something shaking2 at my lower portion of my body.. It was Dr Ho helping to guide Lil one's head downwards..

Mountain Bear couldn't bear to see this portion.. He said he felt defeated that He couldn't do anything to help me during this period.. But he did great! He was by my side, witnessing what was going on.. I was really blessed to have him with me...

Before my final push, I recalled seeking forgiveness from Mountain Bear if this whole while being his wife, I might did something that hurt him. I was afraid that I was dying during this complicated delivery. He mentioned not to say such words to me & everything is going to be alright.. I remembered asking Allah for help during this intense period and pain.. There is no other human being that could help me, I recalled asking for Allah's mercy during this period.. It was scary but I know I was in good hand.. Both on earth and hopefully hereafter.

So the final contraction came.....

CONTRACTION COMING IN 3.......2.......1.......

PUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I gave all I had........ Then I felt a relieve that was hard to explained. I felt something warm gushed out from my vaginal.... Blood everything on the floor as explained by mountain bear

2300hrs - OUR LIL ONE IS FINALLY OUT INTO THE WORLD......

Allahuakbar!!!! Allahuakbar!!!! Allahuakbar..!!!!!!

I was still groggy and was extremely fatigue.... I could faintly hear our baby cried.. I thought baby wasn't crying but Mountain Bear told me that baby gave out a loud cry!

Mountain Bear then caress my head and told me baby is out dear.. our baby is out!! Baby is super cute!!! I remembered seeing him walking to see the baby and coming back to me every few minutes.. He was mesmerized by how our baby look! I was still unable to recover 100%.

I couldn't recall when my placenta came out. All I knew and felt was some cooling sensation at my vagina region. Dr Ho was stitching me up.. Again, no pain felt during this period..

Baby's APGAR Score at 1min & 5mins is 9 which is normal! What's APGAR?

Dr Ho was amazing! She was super detailed and took her time stitching me up. I was on bed, trying to catch some rest. And I remembered feeling Lil one on my chest.. That warm feeling.. I was sad because I couldn't really see him visually as my vision was alil blurred and extremely fatigue..

21 hours in labour for our 1st child... Pheww!!

So, once all was done, our Lil one will be sent to our ward's nursery for the night. They ensure that the baby tag details were correct and the tag were applied to lil one's leg in front of our eyes. Mountain Bear was the main witness as I was still groggy but able to answer their questions.

I then rested till 2am.. Mountain Bear too stayed with me in the labor room for further monitoring. I remembered vomiting alot as I was taking in some 100plus during the active labor. I was super thirsty during the phase. My blood pressure were low.. So they kept me there.

13TH JUNE 2021, SUNDAY

0200hrs - I remembered getting up from the bed, WOOOOooooaOOOaaaaa.... My felt my head spinning and I wasn't able to get myself up straight..

Definitely due to the prolong lying down and the sudden loss of blood and fluids.. I was ready to be push to the ward. I then transfer myself from the bed to the wheelchair, I couldn't get my thoughts right.. I really can't explain how I feel at this moment. .But if I were to put it in words, its like as if my brain's alignment isn't centered! I don't know how to describe this to you guys! LOL! But it took me about 5mins to compose myself, had my hands on my head and breath normally, slowly I regained my full consciousness and alertness.. Then I was aware of my surrounding.. That was the best feeling ever! No longer groggy or semi conscious or confuse.