..An emotional conversation with my patient...

I know that this post has nothing to do with any related to fertility and the journey to get pregnant...

But I really wanna share this is because, it happened 1 hour ago..
Today, 14th March 2018, one patient spoken to me about her life..

I realised that her behaviour was different and she seems that she couldn't hide her depressing emotions with her smile anymore.. So I decide to speak to her and slowly she opened up..

She lost her husband 5 years ago when he had a cardiac arrest suddenly. He was her only family that she had in this country as she is only a permanent resident when he passed on. She faced alot especially with her housing ownership, trying to get her citizenship and also she was cheated $250,000 due to a scam from someone whom she trusted.

She did mentioned that she was really depressed that her management team decide to sent her to a psychiatric department which made her worst.. She say that, that year was the darkest year of her life.. She say, the loss of the husband wasn't the main reason for her depression.. It was the routinal or repetation of actions done between the both of them..

..When i got home, he will open the door and smile "Oh you are home!"...
..When we eat, we share one plate or brown packet together..
..When I want to go to work, he will prepare coffee for me and I will make food for him to bring to work...
..When I'm sick, he bring me go see doctor and care for me...

Now when i got home.. Nothing... I'm alone.. I feel there is no purpose to go on in life.. And I still feel why God punish me like this... I even order my own casket and prepare the medication given by the psychiatrist in case I cannot take it anymore, I will eat it all...

I know she was in need of help. And I told her, by doing so, isn't gonna do good for herself.. I can assure you that this issue was known by her department supervisor as she made those claims before to them which was the reason she was sent to see a psychiatrist.

Knowing that she was really cramped up in her mind, knowing that she couldn't move on smoothly with the loss of her dear husband, i decide to share with her my life story.. What I went through and how I turn out to be.. And her tears and sulking expression changed. She was so interested in my life struggle..

She was amazed that she cried.. Keep repeating to me that "God has given you and bless you with interest plus GST! He repay you with the good deeds you did in life.. " I laughed.. And I told her, "God gave you the same too.. But you didn't realised it.. He made you healthy, give you the chance to be a citizen here, give you strength to help others" She began to smile and she say it's hard to change but now she realised, "if you think what you are going through is worst, other people are suffering worst than me.. I must learn to be grateful.."

I told her to take it slow and such things doesn't take overnight to happen.. She has an issue of why must other treat others badly when they didn't do anything wrong to them..

And i advice her this, if this person has no importance in your life, why must you dwell into the darkness aura that he/she has given to you? He/she is not worth your tears, stresses and sadness.. let it go and let other people do that to them back, not you.. Release it from your chest and mind, for such person had no idea what you went through.. Rather than revenge, pity them for having such character and behaviour...

I know she was in need of much talk as working 12 hours and no communication could make anyone go crazy.. adding to the situation she's been through.. i told her, help is always around the corner and I'm here to listen and help you in any legal way i could.. I could see she smile and tears running down her cheeks and constantly thanking me for willing to listen to her life story and help her emotionally.. Mentioning "No one understands what I went through.. all of them ask me to forget it and move on but how could i?"

And i told her, "Such memories can never be forgotten, it's what you want it to be next.. Do you want to keep thinking on the sadness part or the great memories that you manage to share with the person you love dearly? And just because he is gone, you want to throw away all the happiness you share when he was still around? Share it with people who need it.. And knowing that the hardship you went through 5 years ago, the knowledge you gain from all the things you need to do from your citizenship to applying your house, that knowledge and experience you had, you can help someone one day.. if they went through the issue you had once in the past, you can share that knowledge you had.. you have a purpose in life.. Don't throw it away with your sadness.. I'm sure your husband wants you to do good and I'm sure he will definitely be depress as well seeing you like this after he was gone...

She stopped and pause for awhile... wiping her tears away and start smiling... a sincere smile she shared to me.. And the aura that she had an hour ago which was attached to her surroundings, it totally felt different.. She began to tell me that she will make full use of her remaining life...

I never came across a sincere person like her before.. And she thanked me with a good hand grip and a smile.. She made my day, and i hope I made her happy too...