7th April 2020 - Aunt Flo still not here

.....And it is very very frustrating!!!

Ya Allah......

I could not express how upset, mad, angry, disappointed...

When I truly made an effort to go through some traumatic procedure just to get pregnant like this IVF, something bound to occur!

In this case, my period! Urghhh... I honestly felt like I wanna gave up!

My last period was on 10th February 2020 ladies.... 10 FEBRUARY 2020!!!

And today it's 7th April 2020 & no sign of her....

So i decide to call my IVF department and requested for Medroxyprogesterone on 27th March 2020 and started eating them twice daily (10mg x 2 times daily).

It's already 12 days after & i stopped eating it on 3rd April 2020 (7 days) still... no signs

Pregnancy test? Clear as the sky!!! Nothing...

I started taking in Papaya & Pineapple juice now, hoping it will help too!

I also included rubbing Castor oil on my lower abdomen to hopefully help with the flow...

Sighh...... It's super super upsetting... I keep on bugging Mountain Bear on "why am I not having my period yet?"

And he keeps telling me "Patience love.... patience...."

I'm feeling super useless now.. Like, I don't know what else I wanna do to make this happen...

I know Allah is the Planner & by His Will, it will happen but on my part as well, I did what I was expected to do.. Sigh...

Infertility sucks badly...

I also received a news that some of my friends are having their 2nd child now..

Like, how could they get it so easily?

And why didn't I get that chance as well? i am not asking for alot of kids...

Just 1 child, I would feel happy!

Not to say that right now, I am not happy or anything...

I have a bless life with Mountain Bear! We really enjoy each other company!

We laugh, we date, we enjoy uninterrupted night sleeps, we go out and roam till late night, enjoy eating alot of meals together and simply enjoy cuddling with each other on weekends..

I am indeed blessed with these.. :)

But as a women.... As a wife.... As a daughter..... As a daughter in law.....

I really want to be a mother.... Like I don't feel complete.. Or feel at my upmost capability as a women on how a woman should work & function...

I know my days will come....

But I hope it won't be too late...